apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
