i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
