My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
