My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I understand Curling. That high.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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