were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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