Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
