she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
