Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
