why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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