I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
