JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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