I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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