best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
