you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
