I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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