She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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