This girl is more easily done than said...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
