"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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