what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
