I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
