I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
