I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
