umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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