and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
