now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
