This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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