Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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