I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
