Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Small penises have feelings too.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize