It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
