real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
