Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
