can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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