So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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