why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize