end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
