It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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