We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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