Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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