sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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