I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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