East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i've created a new STD.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
