I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
