She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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