wrigley field is MILF paradise
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
