The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
