I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
