I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
