I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
