i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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