So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
