She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This baby is an asshole
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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