just come out here and I will go home with you...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
