so that wasnt chicken after all
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We left the knife in your bed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize