This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
