Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
And then he peed in my hair
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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