you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
