he thought i was a dude.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
